I was invited to appear on Radio North BBC
It was my big chance at last but in the end you see
Well I was all at sea
For twice I`d inadvertently said “Crap” on the BBC
Now the airwaves went silent and the presenter stared in shock you see
At me having just said “Crap” live on the BBC
Now I never meant to pull down Aunty Beebs drawers below her knees
Or with malice afore thought believe me
Intend to say “Crap” on the BBC
But alas my infamy is now assured, though only I said it twice and not three
The day the “Crap” hit the fan on the BBC.
When the man who crapped on the Beep was me.